Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category
First and Last
The drill: These are, of course, either opening or closing lines to movies. Comment here and give your answers.
Google is cheating. Asking for hints is not. I will provide you the director, actor, actress, or year of release if you ask.
1. “I believe in America.â€
2. “Saigon. Shit! I’m still only in Saigon. Every time I think I’m gonna wake up back in the jungle…â€
3. “Rosebud.”
4. “They’ve shut down the main reactor.”
5. “My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 42 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don’t know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already.â€
6. “There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.â€
7. “Oh, no! It wasn’t the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast.â€
8. “The, uh, stuff that dreams are made of.â€
9. “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.â€
10. “Madness. Madness.â€
11. “Well, nobody’s perfect.â€
12. “Mein Fuehrer, I can walk!â€
13. “…Eighteen months ago, the first evidence of intelligent life off the Earth was discovered. It was buried forty feet below the lunar surface, near the crater Tycho. Except for a single, very powerful radio emission aimed at Jupiter, the four million year old black monolith has remained completely inert, its origin and purpose still a total mystery.â€
14. “But Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man that suddenly got everything he always wanted.”
“What happened?”
“He lived happily ever after.”
15. “This was the story of Howard Beale, the first known instance of a man who was killed because he had lousy ratings.â€
16. “I’ll be right here.â€
17. “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. And like that, he’s gone.â€
18. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry: you will someday.”
19. “They say they’re going to repeal Prohibition. What will you do then?â€
“I think I’ll have a drink.â€
20. “I’m too old for this.â€
Good luck.
Indies
I’ve been meaning to write a post on the fall movie season for some time now, to the point that all I’ve written so far on it is now outdated. Eventually (read: never) I’ll post that, but for now, here’s a list of the independent films out that I’d like to see.
2046
The Beat that my Heart Skipped
Grizzly Man
Junebug
Me And You and Everyone We Know
The Memory of A Killer
Murderball
And more mainstream:
Broken Flowers
The Constant Gardener
Why do I want to see these films so bad? Because they’re not the schlock that gets thrown into theaters every week (*cough* The Man *cough*).
I think Rob made a good point about things in general the other day. When talking about getting his new bike, he said “Once you get something newer and better it’s impossible to go back to the older, worse thing. You think you can, but you really can’t.” It might seem somewhat obvious, but it’s really true. Of course, the classic example is the computer. Once you get the new super-computer, you can’t just go back to the old computer. It’s not any slower than when you left it, of course, but if you need something, the thing freakin’ crawls through the bootup process. You feel so unproductive in that moment.
I’m not sure this is human nature, the thought process of an engineer at work, or the alarming commercialization of America. One could, I think, argue for each. Is it our genetic code telling us to do things better and faster? Is it the new car principle, where just the smell of a freshly minted auto can send us into a euphoric bliss, applied to everything? Is it the innundated world we live in, adverts screaming by cramming their message into every open orifice that makes us demand better conditions?
The most beautiful thing, someone once said, is a free upgrade. The glimpse into the way the rich pamper themselves with reclining sofas on planes, five star food, back massages, hand massages, foot massages, God-knows-where-else massages. But once exposed to the opulence of the upper class for a brief flicker, we’re left wanting. We become sick with our four star food. We want that little bit more.
Of course, I fall victim to this as well. When I see a movie that doesn’t force-feed me product placements, sticky-sweet messages of hope, the triumph of good over evil, or an action fest extravaganza, I’m thrilled. I can’t wait for the next.
Do I see movies that aren’t thought-provoking? For sure. And not every film can get categorized into “piece of crap” or “Academy Award Winner” (my hard-core film friends would say those are the same.) There are films that do what they want very well, and I love them for it.
But when I get a glimpse into a world filled with purer thought, where a little bit of insight into life, into reality, into passion, into reason, I’m left wanting when I go back to my Zoolander and my Titanic and my Lord of the Rings.
I’m left thirsting for more.
Wedding Crashers…
probably falls into the top ten comedies I’ve seen in the past few years. Say, since 2000.
It’s a tough category, but the genre has been kind of lacking good screwball comedies for a while. Just how tough? Go to IMDB’s power search and limit to: Comedies, 2000-2010, exclude TV movies, straight to video releases, and TV series, AND set the minimum vote number to 1500. I got around 460 movies. And not all of them were goofball comedies. “Big Fish”? “Chocolat”?
Groan. I’m setting myself up for failure here, but I’ll write this afternoon on the top ten goofball comedies.
What makes a goofball comedy? There need to be belly-laughs, and plenty of them. It needs to be billed as a comedy with one subgenre, i.e. comedy is the central word. No tragi-comedies. No (sorry, Bad Boys 2), action-thriller comedies. In general, these films will be panned by critics for being too silly.
What comedies I loved from the past few years won’t make the cut? About Schmidt (tragi-comedy), Adaptation (not enough belly-laughs), The Royal Tennenbaums, The Life Aquatic.
Oh, and I need to have seen it.
So, that should leave about 10 films…. and they are:
Honorable Mention: A Mighty Wind. Ok, So there are really *Eleven* Films that have made me laugh and giggle. A Mighty Wind is one of them. If you haven’t heard of it (Promise, this is the most obscure on the list…) it’s a “documentary piece” on a folk music reunion/rememberance show. If that sounds like the folk version of This Is Spinal Tap, it’s because it’s the same guys: Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, Harry Shearer. And it’s fantastic. The music is catchy, and there’s plenty of screwball moments. And what’s more, is it’s mostly done improv. Crazy. So good.
10. Bruce Almighty - Steve Carrell as the wacky speaking-in-tounges anchor. Which, now that I think about it, is the best part of the movie by far. Yeah, that’s why it’s number 10.
9. EuroTrip - It’s trashy, it’s slightly twisted, and it’s funny as hell. If I had to come up with one of those flash-really-quick-on-the-screen quotes for EuroTrip, that would probably be it. (No, I don’t mean that. But I liked some scenes in the movie. Eh. Kinda. This should really be number 10, but I’ve moved it down from 7 to 9, and that’s too much of a slide. That’s like Jose Canseco slide worthy. Seriously, the man’s playing ball for the A’s, then the Devil Rays, and now his sole occupation in life is to bash Raffy Palmerio and others on 60 Minutes? There are some things you just don’t do. Yes, steroids has screwed up baseball. But what good can Mike Wallace do? [As a side note, at least he got Wallace to interview him. Because the Pete Rose/Charlie Gibson interview made me physically ill. Ugh. I could spend a whole other story on the craptastic world of off-field baseball.]
8. Kung Pow! Enter the Fist. - Another one you might not have seen: panned nearly universally. But, as I’ll say again, seeing a comedy is all about the people you see it with. And Kung Pow! is really the only comedy I’ve been able to connect with my younger brother Maxwell on. He was (is? i’m not sure….) a big fan of Godzilla/Gamera/ Rodan/Ghidorah/MechaGodzilla movies. Which, I’m sure you can figure out, were horribly dubbed. If the “worst dubbed scene ever” was the only thing this movie had going for it, that would be enough. But I love this movie because so many people DON’T GET IT. The whole point of the movie is to be bad. It really is terrible, god-awful stuff. But it’s self-aware. It doesn’t say it’s a good movie. People were complaining to the theater manager the night Max and I saw this. We couldn’t stop laughing. It’s SUPPOSED to be out of sync.
Sigh. People should see poorly dubbed Japanese films as a requirement in high school. If we have to kick something out, I vote for American Government. It’s not like 97% of the population will really understand it anyways. But this is a comedy post, so let’s move on….
7. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story - Yes, it’s crappy. Yes, it’s Ben Stiller essentially reprising his role from Heavyweights more than a decade earlier. But what makes this movie great? The number of times I’ve milked the ESPN 8: The Ocho reference. We’ll be playing pool, or basketball, and I can throw out “Tonight on the Ocho” and people will still chuckle. That, my friend, is the sign of a movie with goodness masked in crappiness. And, of course, Jason Bateman (a la TV’s Arrested Development… the only non-animated show I can watch on Fox now) as the coked-up drugged-out crazy announcer. And Chuck Norris.
6. Meet the Parents - The first time I watched Meet the Parents, I thought it was OK. But this is the kind of movie that keeps sneaking back up on you. On an airplane. In a hotel. At a friends house. And so on. And I gotta say, it’s kinda grown on me a little. I was talking with Allen Downey about it, and he agrees. You start noticing little things: the lyrics from the song playing in the convenience mart are what Ben Stiller uses as his grace. The “I think you call it a chuppppah?” line. It’s funny stuff. But Meet the Fockers has kinda this blehhh feel to it. Barbra Streisand is good, but the rest of the characters are just going through the motions. De Niro and Stiller do the “I’m nervous and awkward” scene one too many times, the ending is pretty trite, and the toddler is overused. Ugh.
5. Wedding Crashers - I told you it would crack the top ten. Maybe it’s because it’s fresh in my mind. But Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell are geniuses. (Amazing that they’re in, what, 3 movies in my top five?) Why does it work? In Wedding Crashers, I think it’s Vaughn’s mix of gross-out bodily humor and crackling dialogue. It’s a good mix. I have to think about one and can mindlessly enjoy the other.
4. Old School - I’ll be honest, I was pretty set on my top three before I made this list. But I had completely forgotten about Old School. “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle” got replaced by this (though, obviously, not in this spot.) This movie almost cracked the top three. Again: Vaughn’s hilarious. Will Ferrell’s “We’re going streaking!”, getting shot by a tranq dart, and doing ribbon dancing. A comedic trifecta. But this movie’s got a really excellent supporting cast: “You’re my man, Blue!” just… works.
3. Rat Race: Another extremely re-watchable movie. Ignore the huge A-list cast members goofing around in the desert. What Rat Race is about is paying homage to the granddaddy of cameo movies: It’s a mad mad mad mad world. And I can dig that. Why? Take every comedic actor in show business during the early 1960s. Chances are, the’re in It’s a mad mad mad mad world. Excellent. And Rat Race is just a smaller, slightly different version. I think the thing that seals Rat Race is the hilarious scene with Jon Lovitz’s family on the road. Going to the Klaus Barbie museum. “I’m prarie-doggin!” Drugging his family so he can get to the money faster. Ah, so good. Ignore the scenes with Amy Smart and Breckin Meyer. They’re so-so at best. But Whoppi Goldberg and the squirrel’s? Ah, so good.
2. Team America: World Police!: I know. Obscene as all hell. I run a family blog here. I can’t use one easily-rememberable quote from the movie without offending someone. But it’s….puppets….saying hilarious things that reflect the state of the world. Again, you have to know your references. Once you’ve seen Thunderbirds, et. al. you just find Team America more hilarious.
1. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy: Someone once said Austin Powers would be my generation’s Blazing Saddles. Or my generation’s Airplane!. But I think, when we look back a few decades from now, I’d like Anchorman to be that movie. As Bill Simmons over at ESPN says: nearly every line from this movie is quotable. “If you were a man, I’d punch you in the mouth.” “I LIKE LAMP! I like lamp.” “I stabbed a guy in the heart.” It’s just…. good. It *is* the closest thing we’ve got to Airplane!, the wacky combination of messed-up love, outrageous non-sequiturs and hilarious scenes.
So, that’s that. The 11 greatest goofball comedies of the past five years. Go rent them. They’re good. Well, most of them.
It’s a meme, or something.
It’s movie quote time. These are SUPER Easy. (No googling, of course. No IMDB either.)
Idea courtesy of my pal Miriam. Leave a comment with the number and the name of the movie the quote is from.
1. If you wake up in a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? (L - Fight Club)
2. You’re gonna need a bigger boat. (Dan - Jaws)
3. Attica! Attica! (Mom - Dog Day Afternoon)
4. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.(Dan - Gone with the Wind)
5. A dog has personality. Personality goes a long way. (Dan - Pulp Fiction)
6. This guys like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape: he’s diggin’ tunnels. (L - Reservoir Dogs)
7. I’ll be back. (Dan - The Terminator)
8. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You ain’t heard nothin’ yet. (L - The Jazz Singer)
9. Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera. (L - The King and I)
10. No. I am your father.
11. I’ll have what she’s having. (Dan - When Harry Met Sally)
12. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. (Matt - The Rock)
13. As a man, I can be ignored, I can be defeated. But as a symbol… (Dan - Batman Begins)
14. Everything in this room is eat-able. Even I’m eat-able. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. (Dan - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
15. Rosebud. (L - Citizen Kane)
16. We’ll always have Paris. (L - Casablanca)
17. The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain. (L - My Fair Lady)
18. Get busy living, or get busy dying. (L - The Shawshank Redemption)
19. Follow the money.
20. Leave the gun. Take the cannoli. (Wow. I messed this one up before.)
21. I’m walkin’ here! I’m walkin’ here! (Mom - Midnight Cowboy)
22. You surf, or you fight! (L - Apocalypse Now)
23. Allright, Mr. Demille, I’m ready for my closeup. (L - Sunset Boulevard)
24. What we’ve got here is failure to communicate. (L - Cool Hand Luke)
25. They’re here! (L - Poltergeist)
26. Is it safe? (Mom - Marathon Man)
27. Plastics. (L - The Graduate)
28. Yo, Adrian! (L - Rocky)
29. Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! (Mom - Auntie Mame)
30. No wire hangers ever! (Mom - Mommie Dearest)
Good luck.
At the Movies
My pal Miriam just sent me a link to one of her friend’s blogs. I’m impressed with his thoughts on film and music thus far. Makes me wish I could write like this. Oh, wait, I really can, I just don’t have enough free time.
Out For A Kill….
The most incredibly random and wonderful thing has happened: Another library accidentially sent us Steven Seagal’s Out for a Kill. I can’t send the movie back until tomorrow (since the library that sent it to us is closed today)… So it looks like it’s time for a bad movie!
I’ll write a “review” later.
