Philonoist.net

Alright, Mr. David Hasselhoff, you’re making a comeback. The only problem is, you’re really not coming back from anything. Knight Rider? Sorry, I was always more of a KITT fan. Baywatch? Nobody watched Baywatch for you. “Du”, your peaking-at-43-in-Germany album? It gaves laughter and tears. Mostly tears.

But needless to say, I’ve seen too much of David Hasselhoff in the past few weeks to really be comfortable with the state of affairs in the world. First, there was NBC’s America’s Got Talent, a meidocre variety show at best and a painful eye-gouging experience at worst. Here are the highlights of the show:

• The British has-been or never-was leans across the table and hits the other judges “X Buttons” because an act is truly terrible.
• David Hasselhoff clapping with a slow-child-like mirth. There’s nothing really as unintentionally hilarious as seeing a grown man clap wildly when another grown man juggles.
• Moesha Brandy’s fake “I care about you, but not really” voice when she has to be the deciding third vote.

Of course, if you’re going to make a comeback, and you have a voice, you have to release a new single. The Hoff’s new venture is “Jump in my car”, a song that makes me remember that Billy Ocean (Get out of my dreams, Get into my car) fame is also due for a comeback in late 2008 or early 2009.

But, for the love of all that is holy: Don’t defile KITT in your music video. Don’t show yourself dancing in front of Ayers Rock and the American Flag while you pick up a seventeen year old and go crusing. And, lesson 01, given to everyone gratis: Don’t ever, EVER put yourself in a situation where screenshots of your video could be your downfall.

Like most things, it must be seen to be believed.

Technorati Tags: David Hasselhoff, The Hoff, music

Filed by Adam College at 11:34 am under Everything Else
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People get all antsy here when there’s 10 inches of rain. Let me try something I learned yesterday: Bah! *dismissive hand wave*. Hm, I’m not sure that works in text. Of course, I’m well accustomed to lots of inclement weather; Boston snows and Florida hurricanes line up nicely with the academic calendar.

A few Metro stations are or were under water earlier this week, especially on Monday morning, when the deluge of Sunday dropped 7 inches in as little as 5 hours. Federal Triangle Metro, a stop on the Blue-Orange line that serves the Justice Department, EPA, IRS, and the Dept. of Commerce will experience delays for the next week or so. Most of those organizations, along with other federal agencies, allowed employees to take unscheduled leave if they couldn’t get to work. Traffic, even in the rain, was heavy the last few days as people decided to drive to work.
Here’s an idea: Walk, you weak-legged pansies. It’s 1000 feet from Metro Center (the stop before) to Federal Triangle. That’s just a fifth of a mile. But I wonder how many people would rather have a ten-minute delay than walk for five minutes? The nation’s crippling problem with obesity continues…
And here’s something else: You never see congressional delegates on the Metro, do you? No politician here prides themselves on taking the Blue Line into work. And if that’s not an easy way to look like a populist and an gas-saving eco-aware person, I don’t know what is. It sure beats the 535 black town cars that must invariably come in and out of the Capitol grounds every day. I wouldn’t know though; I haven’t made it to the building while Congress has been in session. You know, from 9:30 to 11 on alternating Wednesdays?

While in session, in an oft-reported move yesterday, the flag burning amendment failed by a single vote: of course, it would still need to be ratified by the state legislatures of at least 38 states. Here’s a tounge-planted-firmly-in-cheeck thought: Why ban burning the flag? Millions of people in other countries burn our flag every day. Why not just cut out the middle man and do it ourselves? We’re outsourcing flag-burning as it is. Of course, even if we ban burning the flag, foriegners will still burn it for us. So the dream stays alive. On a whim, I looked for a list of countries that ban flag burning. The Senate report lists: Germany (circa 1933-1945), Cuba, China, Iran, and Iraq. Hmm….

Quite a few people have spoken out against the flag burning ban: Unconfirmed Sources has the best headline. Mixed Signals also points out how old-school this ban seems. USA Today did a poll (surprise!) that found 54% opposed to the ban. It also asked a confusing question about how upset people would be if the amendment did or did not pass, then goofed in reporting the data. And finally, even Colin Powell “argues that a constitutional ban on flag burning is a sign of weakness and fear”. And if you can’t trust Colin Powell, who can you trust?

Technorati Tags: flag burning, metro

Filed by Adam College at 10:09 am under Washington DC
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Oh Puzzle Pirates, why do you tempt me so? You know the last time we dated, I got exceedingly violent at your insolent ways, your stupid ‘bilging’ game and your frustrating ’sailing’ game. But, alas, there’s really nothing like playing drinking games with your mates with a case of frothy(?) grog.

Oh, wait, I know why we broke up. You wanted to charge me $74.95 a year. I spend less on shoes (and they even light up!)

You’re trying to come back into my life, with your e-mailing me three years later, like the girl that drunk-dialed me last week. But I won’t have any of it. I’ve moved on to better things. I guess you could say you booched it.

No, no, I’m impressed, really. I like what you’ve done with yourself. You’ve got a new couple of jobs, like shipbuilding and alchemy. That’s great. I still have feelings for you, like Nicole and Tom. Maybe if we had settled down in the past, had a couple of kids, we’d have that kind of loving-but-despising relationship. But I’m a Leo, you’re a computer game. It just wasn’t meant to be.

Hey, while you’re here, I think I’ve still got some stuff in a closet for you. Let’s see here — aha, right here in a box marked “Plundercats”. Remember those days, those Plundercats? Reckless abandon. The good times.
No, they’re not tears. The box was just dusty.

Filed by Adam College at 3:52 pm under Everything Else
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I’m not one to immediately jump on the cool-web-demo bandwagon, but the folks over at the DGP of UToronto have come up with a pretty interesting (*cough* Apple-like *cough*) design for interacting with a desktop.

It’s eye-candy with a purpose for the most part. The most meaningful interactions would be the size-increase and tack-up for important documents. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve scanned through the desktop icons looking for a scan of my tax-form or my application pdf and been frustrated when I group deleted it. But, uh, you might want to rename “Drag’N'Cross”. It sounds like a bad Powerball Z move or something.

Finally, how about a trash/recycle bin widget? Crumple something up and throw it into the bin. If you want to look for something in the bin, either go grab the top item, or dump out the bin and scatter-sort. Now that would be sweet.

And don’t miss the hilarious “hip-hop” video. Wacky.

Technorati Tags: design, web, 3D

Filed by Adam College at 3:39 pm under Web
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Hey Brian, is there something we should know about?

(Screen grab of top search phrases to philonoist.net for June so far)

No. I can’t explain Rachel Weisz measurements either.

Filed by Adam College at 9:22 am under Life
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Can somebody enlighten me on the “fiction” tag on LibraryThing? Is there any point at all? Animal Farm is fiction? Really? Talking pigs and you have to tag it as fiction?

For all it’s coolness, LibraryThing is filled with these worthless tags: DaVinci Code is a “Mystery” or “Thriller”, something I could have gotten from the jacket cover or the amazon.com description. I guess for a book I’ve never heard of, like Forsyth’s Avenger, it’s nice to have some meaningful tags. But then again, 3 people have rated Avenger. I’m not likely to read a book that only three people have read.

I suppose I’m missing the point of LibraryThing. Where’s the incentive for me to add books? So I can remember them later? Actually, I’ve got a nice physical space for that: my bookshelf. Do I add books so that I may measure my intellectual prowess compared to other book-readers? Sorry, I’m not really into that. I like books based on the ideas inside them, not the number on my shelf, and I’ve never been big on name-dropping for giggles. (After all, I’m not a philosophy major, so I don’t have to name-drop.)

I certainly understand rating books, a la Netflix, for recommendations. But for the life of me, I can’t understand tagging them with anything more than if (and when) I finished it, if I enjoyed it (unnecessary because of the rating system), and if I recommend it (meaningful since I may like a book, but wouldn’t always recommend it. Maybe recommended-for-genre-fans or the like.)

In short, stupid, worthless tags does not a good web2.0 make.

Technorati Tags: worthless, tagging, librarything, web2.0

Filed by Adam College at 1:37 pm under Web
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Well, snap. Time has finally forced me into talking about al-Zarqawi, another “welcome-back-from-your-coma” name. Let’s see this for what it really is: the most publicized killing of an individual since Kennedy. Every newspaper ran the gory image of Zarqawi’s head late last week, with direct-quote titles of “Eliminated” and “The Military Swiftly Hit its Target”

Of course, the attack occured on a Friday, when newsweeklies such as Time and Newsweek are already in the mailboxes and on the newsstands. So the magazines had to wait a week. Here’s Time’s cover:

Pretty sensationalistic, if you ask me. But of course, old-school history buffs, Time readers, and people in the know remember this cover from May 1945:

Now I’m pissed. Time magazine has no right to compare this present to that past: Zarqawi was a menace, a killer, a thug. But he was no Hitler. Millions died at the hands of the Nazis (unless you’re the president of Iran….), and on, and on. I’m pissed because this is another attempt at a mountain-making from ant-piles.

But I’m not the only one who should be pissed: Germany should be livid, another painful reminder of its past brought up while it welcomes in the world in the name of sport. (See Munich, circa 1972 if you’re lost). I’m sure I won’t be the only one making this comparison. How many times will Hitler’s face be thrown up this week to the cable news watchers of the world? 10? A hundred?

We have descended into madness, into a world that celebrates the swift execution of an individual. We justify that through these comparisons to the villians of history.

Just remember Jon Stewart Here. “When you compare people to Hitler, ehh, you lose credibility….Please stop calling people Hitler when you disagree with them. It demeans you, it demeans your opponent, and to be honest, it demeans Hitler.”

Technorati Tags: jon stewart, time magazine, al-zarqawi

Filed by Adam College at 2:02 pm under Media
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Engadget’s got the details on the first e-reader to go on sale in Europe this month.

…[iRex]’s threatened to come in first (and cheaper). Well, cheaper may no longer be the case, but it looks like the iRex is set to ship this month in Europe for a princely €649 ($820 US)…

As part of a business plan competition (wish I had the final plan, but it’s unavailable at the moment), a small group of us priced out what it would take to implement these in schools. We came up with a final price of approx. $150 (I believe) for the parts, warranty, etc. This included on the order of 20 actual pages you could flip, so that the look-and-feel was as close to a book as possible. Again, the market was not technophiles, but rather secondary and elementary school students, so durability was foremost. Even dealing with content licenses (provided by current publishing houses such as Houghton Mifflin and McGraw-Hill), this Digital Book would have still saved schools money. We like saving people money.

It’s important to note that this was a theoretical model, but it (in my opinion) was pretty thought out. We focused pretty extensively on having a lobbyist staff member capable of selling school districts on this, as well as the internal technology (battery life, digital paper, etc.) Even if we got the money needed (oh, it was only a few million dollars…) it’d take a good 3 years of hard-core development to come up with a prototype.

But hey, maybe if some people want to give us some capital, we’ll get to making a few.

Technorati Tags: e-reader, e-ink, technology, ebook

Filed by Adam College at 10:47 am under Technology
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I saw a mobile shredder truck on the way to the White House today. I’m not going to make judgements about this. I will say it was a pretty big truck.

The 4th and 5th fingers on my left hand have gone kind of numb somehow (probably a pinch of the ulnar nerve) It’s the most bizzare feeling ever to type W, S, and A. If I were to play a FPS, my guy could only strafe right.

I ordered a Turtle Mocha from Caribou Coffee today. In general, Caribou is better than Starbucks. However, I do not like the idea of peanuts in my coffee. Invariably, the peanuts (part of the “turtle” treats) have all the chocolate melted off of them and sink to the bottom, so the last few sips of coffee have chunks of peanuts in them. I’m cool with nutty-tasting coffee. But nuts in my coffee? No fucking way. I have to go drink a Coke to wash out the nut fragments in my teeth. I should not be chasing an espresso with more caffeine. (Yes, I could drink water, but that’s not tasty. Yes, I could also drink flavored water, but that’s still a scary thought.)

I had to answer some questions about my resume today: Apparently, the background check agency called the wrong CharityWorks, reaching the one in NoVA, and not the one in Florida. Here are some helpful clues that should have prevented this.

1) I’ve never lived, except for right now, within 750 miles of NoVA.

2) The listing on my resume has, in giant letters, CLEARWATER FL.

But, to be fair, there are TWO CharityWorks, and the one they called is bigger and has a higher PageRank. So I got hasseled because of a Google Algorithm, coupled with a lack of smart searching. Damn.

Technorati Tags: Washington DC, White House

Filed by Adam College at 10:04 am under Washington DC
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Ah, Snakes on a Plane. If you haven’t heard of it, welcome back from your coma. Otherwise, I’m just counting down the days and mediocre movie releases to August 18th.

I’m putting up $10 that says this movie beats the opening-weekend record set by Spider-Man. (I’m also countering that with $10 on it having a dropoff of at least 50% from weekend one to weekend two, though it won’t break that record.) Anyone think otherwise?

Samuel L. Jackson at the MTV Movie Awards (VanWEric delievers!)
snakes on a plane, samuel l. jackson

Technorati Tags: snakes on a plane, samuel l. jackson

Filed by Adam College at 10:22 am under Movies
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